Wearing his job on my sleeve?

I don't fucking get it. I will never get it! I don't care how long I date a navy man or if I am married to a admiral for 800 years, I will never fucking wear some bullshit clothes that say his name on it, never! You will never see me with a facebook picture that says anything like "MM3 Bob Newhart owns my heart". I admit, I did once wear my boyfriend's PT shirt to work, but I needed something to wear and it was the first thing I saw! I am also fond of the anvy sweat pants, they are comfy, but personalized navy clothes? navy pictures? navy necklaces? panties?!?! really ladies?!?! You really want people to take us seriously when we're walking around with our man's job written across our boobs? It reminds me of a bad band t-shirt. Like we're fan of our men, not lovers of them.

I am all for being proud of your man. Believe me when I say I am very proud of mine. He works hard. but his job is just his job. I wouldn't wear a shirt with his name on it if he worked anywhere else so why wear one with his name and rank? It's just fucking silly. And no, I'm not putting everyone who does this down. Lots of girls who aren't navy wear stuff with their man's name. I am not putting down my friends' "Mrs. so and so" jacket. I'm just saying that it's gone too far. One cute shirt you had made when you were a newly wed and wear on laundry days or on pier when they are coming home is a lot different than wearing navy wife crap all the time.

Half this shit doesn't say anything, but "navy wife" on it. Why do we have to put ourselves into a little box ladies? I am not every navy girlfriend, I don't really want to slap that title on my t-shirt because it's got nothing to do with me. I don't care if my boyfriend has the same job as you, I am not about to put myself in the same box as you. I don't gossip, I don't cheat, I don't giggle at the thought of my man, I am just not you. I have never once in my life seen anyone with a shirt on that said "Teacher's wife" or "police officer's wife". I would think my boyfriend was crazy if I saw him wearing a "Emfp boyfriend" T-shirt. So why is it okay for us? because somehow being a military wife became less about loving our men and more about bragging.

Yes, that's right, you are just bragging. I don't care how cute you think your T-shirts, jackets, pants, necklaces, earrings, hat, shoes, whatever the fuck you've paid lots of money to have your man's name or just his job on, you're bragging. Things like that are why navy wives get a bad reputation. You people make it look like we are all out for the fame, not for love. You rub your husband's job in people's face, what else are they supposed to think? If bill gate's wife walked around with a shirt that said "Richest man in the world's wife" people would think she was a bitch who was only after him for his money. I think the same thing when I see navy wives in things like that. Of course I don't know what money they are after because we all know navy men aren't rich, but it's the same theory. You look like you are after your man for his job.

New flash! he may not always have the same job! that's right, your husband could get out of the navy. Then what are you going to do with those navy wife panties?

movingversary!

My boyfriend and I are moving in together soon. The date we move also happens to be our two year anniversary. He wants to celebrate a few days after we move, but the thing is, it's the first and maybe the last anniversary that we will be together. Last year he was deployed, next year he will also be deployed. Who knows what will happen at four years! I know it's more logical,but I hate that he's always gone on important days. He's yet to be here for my birthday and likely won't be around my next birthday either. I just want one important day that we can celebrate together on the right date. Is that too much to ask? Can't we just move everything early and have a nice romantic night together? I know it would be hard, but I'm willing to move quickly if it means having a normal anniversary for once. It's probably the only thing about the navy that I think really effects me. Holidays and anniversaries were always big deals in my family. I am willing to switch dates sometimes when we have to, but if there's any way to celebrate on time then I want to!

I think some navy men and women are amazing. I honor them because they are just great people, just the way I honor so many of you. BUT I do not need to worship the ground every navy man and woman walks on. I don't need to worship the ground most of them walk on. Why? because most navy people are not selfless souls who decided to risk their lives for their country. Yes, some of them are, probably a good chunk of them, but in all most joined for reasons that were not selfless.

1) The country boy/girl looking to see the world: A large chunk of the military men I met fall under this category, it's probably the one that has the most number of people in it. These men and women grew up in a small town, or maybe even a big city, but either way, they haven't seen much of the world. So one day a recruiter showed up at their school, or home or gave them a call, and promised them they would see the world. It took some convincing, but the CB/GLTSW decided this sounded like a pretty good deal. They were told of all these amazing places they'd get to see, all the choices they'd have for ports exc.. Then they found themselves in Norfolk, Va. Not a bad place, but it isn't the world. They got to see some amazing ports, but the work was hard, and most of these men and women regret joining. Most, will not reenlist. So why then when I meet one in a bar does he act like he's the shit? You're just someone who picked a job they thought would be fun and you hate it so stop pretending like I owe you something.

2) No other options: This person either didn't do well in school, never got anything but a GED, or just couldn't afford college. They didn't want to work in fast food their whole life so they picked the military where they would be able to make a decent living though they were probably disappointed at how little military men really make. I'm not saying this is a bad reason to join, many of these people are great people, but a good chunk of these guys never grew up. They were fuck ups in high school and they are still fuck ups now. They sleep around, slack off at their job, and then expect special treatment from random strangers.

3) This will make me cool: Most of these people grew up in a place where not many kids joined the military. Maybe they heard a story about how Tommy Jones' big brother joined the military and all the kids thought it was so cool. Maybe they did want to help their country, but the thing that irks me about these people is how entitled they act. While the others are more subtle about it, the TWMMC will actually go out of their way to bring up what they do for a living. I knew a guy who wore his dress whites or blues everywhere he could get away with it at. Graduations, weddings, any place where it wasn't about him at all, he wore his uniform and tried to grab attention telling strangers about how awesome he is. This worked out better for him in his home town since every fucking person in this city is in the military. When people here didn't seem to care, he would complain and consider them rude. You don't see noble peace prize winners walking around with their trophy or whatever the fuck they get all the time just so they can strike up conversations with strangers about it.

4) It runs in the family: My grandfather was in the military, so of course my father joined. He got out asap, and never looked back. Meanwhile I have two cousins in the military, and one married to a military man. If my grandfather had his way we'd all be married to or in the military. Maybe it's not a bad reason to join, but if every person in your family does it, it can't be all that special.

As you can tell three is probably my least favorite category. There is one reason to join that I find very honorable, those who want to support their family. The military is a great way to support your family, and that's a great reason to join. I'm not saying the other reasons are bad, but I don't think that they make you a special person. The truth is most military men will never see a war. They will never really have to risk their life for our freedom. Those who do risk their lives do so selflessly. I was once in a bar with a #3. He was telling everyone with in ear shot about his time in Iraq. I have known several people in Iraq who's time was spent playing X box. I can't say it was true for this guy, but he didn't have one story to tell about it, just went on about how he was there. Someone went up to the mic and dedicated a song to this man they had just met and thanked him for serving. I glanced across the table at my friend who still bears a scar from his time in Iraq and just smiled. He didn't need recognition for what he had done. He sat by quietly as the braggy man told him about his time in Iraq and drank free beers. Shaun didn't need to say anything, it wasn't a competition, and if it was he would have won. It's military men like him who I think are amazing, and they are few and far between.

disclaimer: In no way do I believe that every military person fits into a category, and in no way do I think that every person who does fit into one is exactly the same.

Everyone's doing it

So here's the thing, everyone's doing it. All my Navy wife friends are blogging about their lives. I have a blog, I've had one for at least 10 years. I don't need this. I tell strangers about my life all the time. I tell stories about everything that happens in my life to people I'll never meet. I write about love and hurt and pain, and joy. I write a lot about joy, actually. I write a lot about him too. He is smart and funny. He is the kindest most loving man I've ever met in my life. He claims he doesn't have a favorite color, but I know it's red. When he's lying I can always tell because he sounds so serious. Sometimes he pisses me off, sometimes he makes me sad. He is my exact opposite in almost every way, but there isn't anyone in the world I'd rather be with. Oh, and he happens to be in the Navy. It's a minor detail. It doesn't describe who he is. He isn't my Sailor, he's my boyfriend. He isn't the Navy, the Navy is just his job. Of course I am proud of him, but I would be proud no matter what he did for a living. I would love him just as much if he worked at McDonalds. So why then when I read everyone else's blogs do I hear so much about sailors and not so much about people? I have met some of these men, and they are people. Some of them are smart, some aren't. Some have a lot of growing up to do, others act like old men already. I know Navy is a big part of our lives, but it's not all there is. I think we all get so caught up in the fact that our men do a certain job that we forget that they are more than their job. We forget that we are more than their job. That's why I'm starting this blog. I know you don't mean to do it, but you do. I know the whole point of this blog circle is to talk about navy life, but since when is Navy life? I am not defined by my love, and he is not defined by his job. I am still me with or without him. He is still him with or without the Navy. I find it quite boring to hear about the same shit on every blog. I know you ladies have lives. I've been there, I've seen you living! Maybe I'll never be a part of your little blog group, maybe I just don't fit in, but I believe that inside every navy wife and navy girlfriend there's a woman. Just a regular every day woman who has thoughts, goals and dreams of her own. That's what I'd like to read about, and that's what I intend to write about. Maybe sometimes the Navy pops up in my life. Maybe sometimes he's gone, and sometimes I miss him, but that isn't my whole life. It shouldn't be anyone's while life. That's why I started this blog. I don't need this, but some of you do.